My Forbidden Fruit
by King Sabre Tooth
Summary: Why is it the love that we want the most is the love that can never be?
1. Chapter 1

She lay peacefully, in a world of anarchy and pain. The world was full of killers and monsters, hunger and cruelty, yet she knew to live each day in happiness, a rule in which she tried to abide to. Her wild black hair escaped the band it had been tied in, and flowed around her like a waterfall. Beside her, a skinny, ragged looking girl of about 14, with striking red hair, was sleeping quietly. The older girl sat up, and shook her hair away from her face, revealing blue eyes like chips of ice. She shook the red haired girl's shoulder, mumbling to her softly.

"Ember… Em! C'mon, get up!" she shook her friends shoulder again, then sighed and stood up, combing her fingers through her hair. She smiled wistfully, staring out through the trees that surrounded this small grassy clearing. A few rocks, just the right size and comfortable enough to sit on were on one side, and the light filtered through the trees above, casting a gentle, dappled light.

She came here to think often, or when she was lonely, she would always find Ember here. Ember. Her friend sat up, twigs and grass in her scarlet locks, and shook them free, but left it at that. Ember never cared much about her appearance. She was scared that if she looked pretty, she would be chosen for the games. _If that was true_, she though, _then Kora would've gone a long time ago_. Kora was her older sister, who, thankfully, was twenty, so no longer was entered in the reaping. She had been a stunner from a young age though, with black curls that achieved a sense of dignity and majestic beauty that hers never could, and huge green eyes with thick lashes. During a reaping, a few cameras decided to film her in the crowd rather than anyone else. Kora had been worried about that, so that's probably where Ember got the idea from. Ember stood up, and yawned, her light green eyes glinting in the light. She began to walk away, pausing to tease her friend over her shoulder. "Come on Circe! Don't be so slow!" Circe gave a mocked gasp of annoyance, and gave chase, outrunning her easily. She was the fastest girl in all of district 12. The fastest in all of Panem!

Ember caught her up at the fence, and they both wriggled under it, without getting snagged on the fraying wires. They got up quickly, and after a glance or two, began to walk away calmly, chatting about nothing in particular. Circe grinned. Days like this were fun; just walking with Ember, down to the town, talking. They walked through the streets, and waved at Jasmak, who was coming back from the mines, covered in soot. He waved back, tired but cheerful. Ember leaned towards Circe, and whispered cheekily "he and Kora would make _such_ a great couple" Circe snorted, but thoughtfully agreed. They would make a great couple. She would mention it to her sister. Jasmak passed them, flicking his ruffled blond hair. They giggled, and that's when they reached the square.

"No…"

"No!"

They cried, frantic. _Stupid! Stupid! The Reaping! Stupid! How could I forget it? I should be home with Sora and Kora! _She looked at Ember sideways in despair. Ember looked silently back, but Circe saw a flash of panic in her eyes. She opened her mouth to talk, but found herself cut off mid breath as a familiar voice behind them spoke.

Ember jumped as though electrocuted, while Circe only turned her head a fraction, too deep in thought. A boy of seventeen, with windswept short blond hair and friendly blue eyes eyed her, half smiling.

"Hey" he said quietly, slipping his arm around both girls' shoulders. Ember snatched at his arm, as if her life depended on it, clinging on tight. She always got this worried every reaping, although they hadn't an idea why. Yeah, you might get chosen, but she had no family to worry about. No one she would have to go home to, and find missing, never to return, no one she would watch getting killed in the arena. Circe tilted her head, and surveyed her. Little was known about her, even to her friends. She was simply known as 'that orphan girl' by most people. Circe closed her eyes, and though about when she had first seen her. A skinny, dirty girl who was starving in the corner of the streets. She had offered her some bread, and ever since, they had bumped in to each other, then eventually got talking, and became firm friends.

Jackson sighed, and said in a forced bright voice "At least Jasmak's out of the reaping. One less person to worry about, hey?" Circe nodded, and held his hand lightly. "One more" Circe croaked her voice tight "Sora's first reaping." she broke off, and closed her eyes. He gave her hand a comforting squeeze. She looked up and met his eyes briefly, and gave a wan smile, then looked back down. Ember, apart from this, said very quietly "I have no one to worry about. I could volunteer, and only you two would miss me." Circe, pulled her into a hug, and murmured "I'd miss you enough for all of the people of Panem. She suddenly hissed angrily "I hate the games! I hate them!" Ember jumped back, and Jackson tugged on her arm slightly.

"Sorting time" he said gravely, stifling a gulp of fear. Reluctantly, the three separated, Circe going into the sixteen year old area, Jackson going in the seventeen year old area, while Ember headed off to join the fourteen year olds. Circe moved near the seventeen year old's side, and looked across at Jackson. As she stood there, catching his eye and biting her lip, someone wolf whistled behind her. She whipped around, and saw Teggin Miggins swaggering past. "Hey, Circy!" He shook his dark brown hair out of his eyes, and grinned. "How is the most beautiful girl in the town doing?" he waggled his eyebrows at her, and she managed a laugh. Teggin was the son of the mine owner, and constantly teased and flirted with her. He was good looking enough, with cheeky brown eyes, and only a slightly chubby stomach, but she wasn't interested in love at the moment. Not really. The right guy hadn't come along yet. If there was one. Teggin gave a cheery wave and walked forwards, swinging his hips like a girl. She stifled a giggle, and her gaze settled on the arrival of her sisters. Kora was holding Sora's hand. Sora was ill. Not ill enough to not come to the reaping, but still ill. Hungry and frail. She looked scared and small beside the other twelve year olds. Kora stood in the crowd, looking worried. With a stab of anger, Circe realized her father wasn't watching with her. Probably betting with his friends. She shook her head to clear it and bit her lip, staring at her little sister again in despair. Only good, proper medicine could cure her, and she had none of that. No one did, except maybe the mayor, or a victor. Speaking of victors, Andres arrived, dressed in finer clothes than anyone else. He had won years ago, and is so arrogant he never lets anyone forget it. Finally, Genesis Snow walked up to the creaky old platform, ready to begin the reaping. The clock strikes two. The mayor starts to read, stuff about the history of Panem, and the Dark Days. Same story every year. Then he explains the Hunger Games, and Circe clenched her fists in anger, and gritted her teeth. Without warning, suddenly Snow stepped forward and said cheerfully "Happy Hunger games! And may the odds be _ever_ in your favour!" he gives a little speech then, but she took none of it in, crossing her fingers for luck, and trying not to imagine the worst. Suddenly, he steps forward, and pulls a slip of paper out of the glass ball. She calls out a name, someone called Xian Fin, around fifteen. Circe felt a ripple or relief that it wasn't Jackson, which immediately was replaced with a stab of guilt. The girl's name is drawn quickly, as Snow looked like he wanted it over and down with. He cleared his throat, and said loudly and clearly, but she's not listening. It's only when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye does she look back.

A small girl, twelve, stumbles towards the podium. No. It's the mayors own daughter, and the mayor looks like she's about to faint. Surrina, that's her name. The mayor's daughter. The _mayor's_ daughter. Circe looked at her little sister, dying without medicine, and looked at the mayor's daughter. She doesn't care anymore. This isn't fair. Two lives for one. Hers. Circe looked at Jackson sadly, and his eyes widen in horror. He opened his mouth to shout, but not before she bellowed loudly and clearly "I volunteer!" just as Surrina is about to place her foot on the first step on those wooden stairs. She looks around, and when she has spotted Circe, she saw her tremble with relief. The three adults on the podium talk for a few seconds, and then wave me forwards. She can see Surrina running back, and she cast her grateful look over her shoulder. Slowly, Circe walks up, keeping her face determined. After a while with more talking, the peacekeepers surrounded us and escort us to the justice building. Circe met the eyes of one of the guards, Aarek, who smiled warmly at her. You did a great thing, he seemed to say. Just before she entered, she turned her head and saw Ember and Jackson looking aghast, and shocked, then the door closed and they were blocked from sight.

The boy, Xian, sat down away from her, crossing his arms and examining the room coldly. He seemed unflustered and unfeeling about the whole thing. Circe curled up on one of the thickly cushioned sofas, and cried silently, letting the tears flow. She hid her face in her hands, but silently, so no one heard. She didn't even hear them walk in. Suddenly, her face was lifted from her hands, and soft lips brushed hers gently. Circe jumped, and through her blurry, teary soaked eyes; saw the face of the kisser.

It was _Jackson_.


	2. Chapter 2

Circe gasped in shock and pulled away, her mouth hanging open in shock. She narrowed her eyes, but Jackson seemed sincere. It wasn't a joke to try and cheer her up. _But…Jackson!_ He held her hand gently in his, and watched her through his gentle blue eyes, an echo of a smile on his face. He slowly traced her jawline with his long, tanned fingertips, and she noticed for the first time his nails were clean and straight. She looked down, then back up at him in confusion. He sighed, and then began talking, although she didn't even listen properly to him, just stared at him, taking in every strand of his hair, his muscles, his skin, his face. He was handsome, and yet, she hadn't noticed before. She tuned in again, as he caressed her hands between his own, murmuring softly. "… I would volunteer for you if I could, or go instead of Xian, but –"Circe snapped, and tightened her grip on his hands.

"No" she said shortly. He looked confused, and she continued "We'd have to fight each other. No way." She glared at him, and then softened her gaze as he nodded at her warmly. They sat in silence for a while, just gazing at each other. Jackson spoke again, this time quieter.

"…it hurt me, every time the idiot Teggin flirted with you; I wanted to stop him, to teach him a lesson. And when you were alone and upset, I felt your pain, Circe. I always tried to help, really. I can't believe I'm telling you this, and I've wanted too, for so long now. Circe, I love you". He finished quickly, and looked up, nervous. Circe paused, taking it in and him as well, every detail of his appearance again, all the memories. Suddenly, her cheeks were wet, and her eyes threatened to blur up. _And yet…_ she shook her head, her face bowed, and threw her arms around him, clinging on tight. So this was how Ember felt at Reapings. Terrified and panicked beyond thinkable. She buried her head on his shoulder, feeling his hold her tightly back. Then a harsh voice spoke, and he was going. She clutched at his hands, and he kissed them gently, and they slipped from his grasp. He was gone. She swallowed a sob, and sat up straight, as her next visitor arrived.

Her sisters, Kora and Sora – who was held up by Kora – and they embraced, hugging tightly. She was dimly aware of them begging her to win, telling her they loved her. But she could see by the tightness in their voices and the panic in their eyes that without her tesserae, they were going to struggle.

"Try and win, please?" Sora begged, her brown hair hanging lankly at her shaking shoulders. Circe nodded, and secretly felt relived. At least she could get them medicine. She looked encouragingly at them, and nodded bravely. She would try and win, of course, but she was a district 12 girl, even if she was good with some weapons and fast. As they turned their backs on her and walked away, she shook her head discreetly, but thought determinedly_, I'll try my best. Promise._

As she expected, and hoped, the mayor appeared, clutching a stylish handbag. She sat down awkwardly, with dignity. She fiddled with the catch, then out of the blue leapt forward and hugged me.

"Thank you, thank you" she breathed, "you didn't have too, but you did. You saved my little girl." She pulled back, and spoke firmly "Just tell me, anything you need. Anything. It's yours." Yes. Circe took a deep breath in, and babbled quickly about her sister, the lack of money to buy good medicine, and how weak she was.

"…Please, just give her the medicine to save her and some extra food for my family, or it's all been for nothing. All of it" she finished, looking desperate. The mayor nodded several times, and stood up abruptly.

"Of course" she agreed, and hurried away without a backward glance. She seemed truthful enough, and Circe hoped that she would keep her word. She watched her go with sad eyes, and then the peacekeepers entered, escorting her to the waiting car. Circe felt a stab of betrayal. Ember, her best friend…_she hadn't even come to say goodbye? How could she?_ She was swept away before she had time to dwell on it, and got in, opposite Xian, who looked as unresponsive as ever. Yep, she would have no sympathy for him in the arena. He didn't even try to be friendly. But maybe he was holding it all in. she scrutinised him, immediately knowing he would pull a few sponsors with the strong, silent cliché personality. The car moves extremely fast, and the small district of 12 zooms by, the woods, the towns, blurred. It slows to a stop, outside the train station. Awkwardly, she clambered out, Xian close behind her. Immediately, they were surrounded by cameras. She saw her reflection in one, and realized what she needed to add to her appearance. She reached up, and with a firm tug, broke the band on her hair. Like snakes released from a cage, it cascaded down, curling and shining, blue in the light. Silence, as they took it in, and silence as the prep teams in the capitol watched, enthralled. Then the camera people oohed and aahed, while far way, prep teams were already clapping hands and drawing designs. She smiled and waved cheerily, and turned her head. Xian gave her the briefest of smiles, and she returned it gladly. So he wasn't made of stone then. She jumped on the train, still waving and grinning as it pulled away. Then she took a deep shuddering breath, of fear, sadness and pain.


	3. Chapter 3

She sank to the ground, tucking her knees up against her chest. She had never been so scared in her life. Ever. All of a sudden, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, and Snow pulled her up, his face full of pity. He lifted her up, and stared at her out of his pale eyes. He hugged her for a second, and gave a weak smile. Without saying anything, he had made Circe feel so much better. She gave a forced grin, and let him lead her to her room. Once she entered, it took her breath away. A huge bed, with gold edges and frilly covers is in the middle of the room. Thick layers of pillows, stuffed with the softest feathers. She resisted the urge to run and jump on it, instead looking around the room. A private dressing air, big and decorated beautifully. Even more so than the Justice building room. But she hadn't had time to examine it properly with everything that had gone on.

For the first time, her thoughts went back to Jackson, and her hear tightened with worry. He was so lovely, so kind and strong. She felt safe with him, yet… she didn't really love him. She had never felt love before, and had no idea about it. True, she liked him, but was he the one? She just wasn't sure. _What if I survive the games? Will I be with him? If I die, he'll be devastated._ She thought anxiously. She threw one of the stuffed pillows at the wall in anger. It bounced off a dressing table and set of drawers. Curiosity overwhelmed her, and she once again set about poking about in the room. The dressing table was pretty, and with beautiful rich wood, but there was nothing but the ornate mirror on it. The set of drawers, however, was full to the prim with piles of dresses, trousers, shirts and jackets. Circe grabbed a few, feeling the different materials curl around her hands. Cotton, silk, wool. Some others she failed to name. She pulled off her simple white shirt, which was too baggy for her anyways, along with the faded blue trousers, ripped from hunting. She clothes she picked out were works of art compared to her ordinary clothes. The shirt was red, tight fitting, and silky soft. The trousers were tight and skinny, an interesting deep black colour. She went over to the dressing table and combed her hair with an expensive brush she found in a drawer in it. Smiling at her reflection, she spun around the room her fingers outstretched. When she was young, she would do this, and in her mind, she would fly, fly away, like a bird, away from her troubles. She remembered dancing in the woods, and 'fling' with her father and sisters. That was before their mother died. She stopped, her eyes flicking open. Her arms fell limply to her sides. No one ever talked about her mother, ever. Sometimes, it was as if she never existed.

Circe made her way towards the bed, and then tripped over her clothes. _Clink_. She looked down, and saw something protruding from the pocket of her old trousers. She grabbed it and pulled. Then gasped. It was beautiful; a pretty swirl shape of metal, tied tightly on to a light length of silver chain. She smiled, and tied it around her neck. _It was a token_, and she wondered if she could have it in the arena. _Whose was it?_ She thought, and then realized who it might have belonged too. Her mother. She remembered being young and watching her shift through her jewellery box, which was a total of a few rings, and a couple of necklaces. This was one of them. She tugged at it, and frowned slightly.

There was a knock at the door, and Snow entered, and said in surprise "You're already dressed! Oh. Dinner's ready" he retreated from the room, shutting the door smartly behind him. He was very secretive, Genesis Snow. She got up quickly and followed him, down the polished corridors, then rocked from side to side. Wow, it went fast, she thought. The corridor led into a neat wood panelled dining room, were Xian was already sitting. Andres was half asleep on the other side of the table, looking bored. He brightened up when he saw them enter, and Snow gestured for her to sit beside Andres. She took a seat quietly, and was caught off guard when Andres murmured in her ear "Not much of a talker, eh?" and jabbed his thumb discreetly in the direction of Xian, who was still sitting in a stony silence. She laughed, and he grinned mischievously. He wasn't that bad. Food was brought out, and she gaped at the size. Andres licked his lips and read from the menu "whole baked gilthead breams with fennel and watercress, pork pie with homemade piccalilli, and for dessert buttermilk panna cotta with cinnamon caramel". Circe gulped. Andres tucked in immediately, as did Snow, even if he was much more well-mannered when eating, still seemed to be able to down such rich foods. Circe dug in too, remembering to use her knife, fork and spoon, because it simply looked delicious. When she had finished, she felt slightly sick, knowing that it was far too rich for her poor stomach to take. The dessert had been wonderful, the rest still great, but less so. She smiled weakly at Xian, who grimaced. Circe closed her eyes and lay back in her chair. She was exhausted. She stood up and said politely "May I be excused?" Snow nodded, and waved her off, and she hurried to her room, just in time to fall down into the bed, without even changing, and let the gentle rocking of the train rock her to sleep.


End file.
